i love Black Men. my Brothers. they are my Kindreds. my Divine Mates. i only see loving, holding, nurturing, nourishing, respecting, learning from, teaching, and everythinging else them alone.
yet, as much as i am called, referred to as, even treated as a Queen, Goddess, Empress, Divine Being, Reflection of the Sun, the Moon, the Light, poetry in motion, all kinds of beautiful goodness personified...I am not taken seriously as a Woman to be connected to that Man.
so few have appreciated me in full, and even those who have, their graces have fallen. for them though, looks weren't an issue. yet for far too many, it has been. i hear thats just the way of this world. just how it is. how real that is. its such bullshit to me though. because a real man, a good man, a God-gifted man will walk with you through any journey. be helpful, not critical. be available through all changes and wanting everything i want for me. so it breaks my heart to realize the most loving hearts, the most beautiful minds, the most righteous spirits won't see Me. they'll only see the extra weight my body has made. not everything i am, which surpasses it.
i remember praying for exactly what i wanted and needed the moment i watched 'Why Did I Get Married?' and Sheila cry tears of rememberance and joy of going from a man who didn't care about one part of her to having a man who's really got her back, as God has his, you know what i mean?
thats what i want. what i need. if i am to be One with anyone. if i am to be committed so eternally. so shall it be. so shall it be.
in the meantime, i live, learn, love and grow even more into this oh so Beautiful Woman.
ase.
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