from Finding Fish to finding me...
who will cry for the little girl
whose been told she's too big
to be beautiful
whose known lonliness
better than the taste of her own tongue
whose heartbroken wounds
heal with jagged edges/aching
to be smoothed by respect and affirmation
who will cry for the little girl
with her heart & soul
fragile as an autumn/red leaf fresh-fallen to the ground
whose salty tears incessantly warm her love
when facing sharp rejection
whose strength multiplies
through the madness of cruelty & ridicule
her spirit wakes to understand
why God has chosen such pain
to be her purpose/yet
she learns from it;
each dawn, she looks toward the Sun
just to see
who will cry for the little girl
...in me.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
auset speaks: untitled (honestly)
this is not for a romantic ending
for the ceasefire of an eternal flame
or because i miss you
no
this is for the heartbreaking disappointment
of our loss
of you and i
of us
of what you no longer desire
no matter how far i reach to touch the most tender
parts of you, as i once did
you don't reach back.
now
you push me off
you ignore my presence in the room
acknowledge only what gratifies
your otherwise deadened ego
so much for friendship
though i've come to terms with this
being more your loss than my own
our truth hurts
i feel silly when i miss you
when i need you
when i don't wish we never met
when i cry over the growing pains
when you don't look in my eyes
when you're not here to make it betta
when i wait for your call
when i pray to understand
where the intimacy changed
and when my love became less than paramount,
when we both breathed a high off this shared affinity
when i ask God
where, how, what for
did i lose
you.
as ridiculous as i feel
i'd feel worse trying to deny my melancholy
you bring out the worst in me
but concealed wounds never heal
its come down to you or me
i need to let you go
and have yet to know how
don't even know how to end this poem
so i begin again
with oxymoronic words
only your muse inspires...
fuck you...i love you.
for the ceasefire of an eternal flame
or because i miss you
no
this is for the heartbreaking disappointment
of our loss
of you and i
of us
of what you no longer desire
no matter how far i reach to touch the most tender
parts of you, as i once did
you don't reach back.
now
you push me off
you ignore my presence in the room
acknowledge only what gratifies
your otherwise deadened ego
so much for friendship
though i've come to terms with this
being more your loss than my own
our truth hurts
i feel silly when i miss you
when i need you
when i don't wish we never met
when i cry over the growing pains
when you don't look in my eyes
when you're not here to make it betta
when i wait for your call
when i pray to understand
where the intimacy changed
and when my love became less than paramount,
when we both breathed a high off this shared affinity
when i ask God
where, how, what for
did i lose
you.
as ridiculous as i feel
i'd feel worse trying to deny my melancholy
you bring out the worst in me
but concealed wounds never heal
its come down to you or me
i need to let you go
and have yet to know how
don't even know how to end this poem
so i begin again
with oxymoronic words
only your muse inspires...
fuck you...i love you.
auset speaks: epiphany of my atmosphere
musing/meditating/magnifying
my mission to move
more than poetry in motion/I feel like peace
in a dance
in my trance
my soul's in solitude/within the crowd
a quiet space where butterfly wings
sing
in fused colors/and summer is soft
as the noon sun rests
e
a
s
y
on my mind
without beating my brow
and the breeze carries percussion tunes
in tuned to the natural, rhythmic boom bip
of my eardrums
I hear the sounds as a dancer dancing
to no music
leaps & bounds in silence
only my mind's thought-melody
to keep me company
with all this/I revel in ironic nuance
of
chaos
standing
still….
Queen Cynequa Marie Sain
Peace and blessings manifest...
Here I am. Been locked in a ’lost soul mood’. Assuming I have failed myself, my family. Losing sight of my Purpose. As if everything that has happened hasn’t happened to fulfill my Purpose. It is not a one-time, this is my calling, thing. Its a series of life events you experience in the current life you’re living.
In school. Forced to leave school, running out of viable finanicial aid...having been a co-ed off/on for the past ten years. Little sister lets fam know she’s giving birth. Soon asks me to come out and care of her daughter as she works her work for the military. Of course I go.
I am beyond blessed to be here. I am thriving, though it isn’t always clear to me. Babygirl reminds me in her laugh, hand holding my finger, her all-around preciousness. The nectar of a childs love is sweeter than any God has created for us.
..with every lesson learned. I receive more than I can ever perceive in each one.
One Love.
The Lotus Within
petals open wider
soft sweet whet with appetite
for more
for thickness
for deeper
for richer
for nicer
reaching for higher
and taking every dewdrop in
opening
for more
i hear the music wrapping new streams of sound
to my silence
She plants a new seed for every open pore
in my supple skin
Mama Earth befriends me so divinely
this love is so decadent
i cannot be selfish with Her
i share the water through the Sista Wit
i grow from rich soil and plentiful root
Sprit
Soul
Mind
Heart
Body
all in sync with God in Me
you feel her?
you see her?
she walking with you
crying with you
dancing with you
furrowing her brown too
on the same mission
from beginning
may this journey
never
ever
end.
release. ommmmmmm. release
soft sweet whet with appetite
for more
for thickness
for deeper
for richer
for nicer
reaching for higher
and taking every dewdrop in
opening
for more
i hear the music wrapping new streams of sound
to my silence
She plants a new seed for every open pore
in my supple skin
Mama Earth befriends me so divinely
this love is so decadent
i cannot be selfish with Her
i share the water through the Sista Wit
i grow from rich soil and plentiful root
Sprit
Soul
Mind
Heart
Body
all in sync with God in Me
you feel her?
you see her?
she walking with you
crying with you
dancing with you
furrowing her brown too
on the same mission
from beginning
may this journey
never
ever
end.
release. ommmmmmm. release
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