Revolution begins with one.
If you want to make a change in this world, in your life, start by looking in the mirror.
God makes each and every individual, perfect as you are.
One is the magic number.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
this is how i prayed to God & our Universe for my Husband
divine mate. king. life partner. best friend. only other half. he's finding me. how i know? cuz as i prayed and ancestors & nem of the spirit world lemme know. sit still. just be still. let him come.
he will complete my path, my journey, my life, my love, my way. i know i will receive argument, flack, etc. about the idea of my man completing me and not just complementing me.... but the fact is.. this is about conjoining LIVES. entire Beings of Existence. if we were so satisfied in our lonesome, why mate (especially monogamously) at all? our beloveds must bring something major to us in order to commit as deeply and sacredly as we do. so i truthfully, widely & extreme-strongly feel. he will most def complete my cipher. and be the most paramount blessing to my innermost lovespace within. i am more than cool, okay & alright with that. (big warm feelgood smile)
this is what i said....
Infinite All/Most High/Creator
i want a man
who is there
wants to be there
who participates
in an all consuming
most inconvenient
won't live life without
each other
love
who co-writes our life story
in complete romance
who shares his love in manysmall actions
throughout the day
paying attention to detail
each day we are together
cuz its not about forever
but understanding today
is all we truly have
this second
this minute
this hour
this moment
a man who understand we are first & foremost
friends
who continuously strives
to mindfully maintain our commitment
through spiritual cultivation
& soulful nurturing
who looks deeply in my eyes
thinks with his heart
and speaks directly to mine
a man who seeks & finds
me
sleeps close in my bed
and holds me til i'm awake
onlyto gently, softly, sweetly kiss my forehead
and hand me a cup of my favorite coffee
who will see me as i am
and listen
really listen
who talks to me
communes with me
shares a bond in thinking of one another
reaching out to feel one another
closer
who mutually leads me
and is lead by me
recognising his strength is not compromised
by submission
who cares for my body
and embraces my figure (be it size 8 or 28, ha!)
because such a limited thing does not matter
not in our loving
whose chest i bury my head into
to feel good & betta
whose body i lean against i winter
standing in lines
preparing our dinner
washing dishes
browsing bookstores & libraries
whose hand holds mine
as we listen to music
watch films
or enjoy late night tv
whose face i caress during
his late night truthseeking
buried deep in knowledge & wisdom
in printed/written word
or spoken through elders on wax
as i hand him warm, sweet tea
who shares my breath of life
through luscious kissing
whenever
wherever
whatever
and makes love when the mood strikes
(sometimes quickes are even okay)
a man who prays with me
and blesses our table before we feast
who learns me to know me
sees the God in me
and embraces Her
showing me his full, raw Self
(no window dressing)
i'm not in search of a hero
warrior
saint
revolutionist
savior
artist
thinker
writer
poet
scholar
scientist
breadwinner
or a replica of Malcolm, Martin or Medgar
i want an amalgamation of infinite possibilties
a man who can go anywhere, be anything
yet knows his core and shares Him with me
who thrives in doing the best he can with all he has
and respects
he's the only other half
making me whole.....
he will complete my path, my journey, my life, my love, my way. i know i will receive argument, flack, etc. about the idea of my man completing me and not just complementing me.... but the fact is.. this is about conjoining LIVES. entire Beings of Existence. if we were so satisfied in our lonesome, why mate (especially monogamously) at all? our beloveds must bring something major to us in order to commit as deeply and sacredly as we do. so i truthfully, widely & extreme-strongly feel. he will most def complete my cipher. and be the most paramount blessing to my innermost lovespace within. i am more than cool, okay & alright with that. (big warm feelgood smile)
this is what i said....
Infinite All/Most High/Creator
i want a man
who is there
wants to be there
who participates
in an all consuming
most inconvenient
won't live life without
each other
love
who co-writes our life story
in complete romance
who shares his love in manysmall actions
throughout the day
paying attention to detail
each day we are together
cuz its not about forever
but understanding today
is all we truly have
this second
this minute
this hour
this moment
a man who understand we are first & foremost
friends
who continuously strives
to mindfully maintain our commitment
through spiritual cultivation
& soulful nurturing
who looks deeply in my eyes
thinks with his heart
and speaks directly to mine
a man who seeks & finds
me
sleeps close in my bed
and holds me til i'm awake
onlyto gently, softly, sweetly kiss my forehead
and hand me a cup of my favorite coffee
who will see me as i am
and listen
really listen
who talks to me
communes with me
shares a bond in thinking of one another
reaching out to feel one another
closer
who mutually leads me
and is lead by me
recognising his strength is not compromised
by submission
who cares for my body
and embraces my figure (be it size 8 or 28, ha!)
because such a limited thing does not matter
not in our loving
whose chest i bury my head into
to feel good & betta
whose body i lean against i winter
standing in lines
preparing our dinner
washing dishes
browsing bookstores & libraries
whose hand holds mine
as we listen to music
watch films
or enjoy late night tv
whose face i caress during
his late night truthseeking
buried deep in knowledge & wisdom
in printed/written word
or spoken through elders on wax
as i hand him warm, sweet tea
who shares my breath of life
through luscious kissing
whenever
wherever
whatever
and makes love when the mood strikes
(sometimes quickes are even okay)
a man who prays with me
and blesses our table before we feast
who learns me to know me
sees the God in me
and embraces Her
showing me his full, raw Self
(no window dressing)
i'm not in search of a hero
warrior
saint
revolutionist
savior
artist
thinker
writer
poet
scholar
scientist
breadwinner
or a replica of Malcolm, Martin or Medgar
i want an amalgamation of infinite possibilties
a man who can go anywhere, be anything
yet knows his core and shares Him with me
who thrives in doing the best he can with all he has
and respects
he's the only other half
making me whole.....
apology (for my brotherfriend)
instead of looking at our history as
what you did in relation
to what i did
i simply take full responsibilty
for my actions alone
for that is all i am
in control of
can change
and i have.
so for pain i have caused you
i truly am sorry
regardless of intentions
you were hurt
and i hurt you
in keeping spiritual balance
i must apologize
ask your forgiveness
receive it
and honor it
all of which, i do.
as you well know. (smile)
blessings of love & peace within. ase.
what you did in relation
to what i did
i simply take full responsibilty
for my actions alone
for that is all i am
in control of
can change
and i have.
so for pain i have caused you
i truly am sorry
regardless of intentions
you were hurt
and i hurt you
in keeping spiritual balance
i must apologize
ask your forgiveness
receive it
and honor it
all of which, i do.
as you well know. (smile)
blessings of love & peace within. ase.
auset speaks: poem for the pain
i often look for your mouth
to form a vowel sound or a sigh
of indication
to let me know where
our thing stands
where i fit into
all of this
for you
but its more often your silence
saying it all
and i play deaf/to keep me softened to you
but reality corners my moistened heart
forming frost around its edges
so my glorifying, blurry vision is balanced
by the clarity of your
distance.
-- March 1, 2007
to form a vowel sound or a sigh
of indication
to let me know where
our thing stands
where i fit into
all of this
for you
but its more often your silence
saying it all
and i play deaf/to keep me softened to you
but reality corners my moistened heart
forming frost around its edges
so my glorifying, blurry vision is balanced
by the clarity of your
distance.
-- March 1, 2007
auset speaks: "hinder" (a he wasn't listenin poem)
I im'ed him
to begin one of
our most paramount conversations
re: the growth & change
of our relationship.
While my heart ached
I poured the muck & mire
filling the crevice of my soul
through a cold keyboard
and in teh midst of my fearful revelations
all he could muster in response
was a spelling correction
of one word.
To soften his unsighted blow
of ignorance & obliviousness
he posted an animated smiling face
as if our discussion
were that simple.
This alone clarified for me
his interest & investment in our future
had long dissipated.
Sometimes I think
I'm my own worst enemy
cuz I set myself up for this shit
every
single
time.
March 6, 2007
to begin one of
our most paramount conversations
re: the growth & change
of our relationship.
While my heart ached
I poured the muck & mire
filling the crevice of my soul
through a cold keyboard
and in teh midst of my fearful revelations
all he could muster in response
was a spelling correction
of one word.
To soften his unsighted blow
of ignorance & obliviousness
he posted an animated smiling face
as if our discussion
were that simple.
This alone clarified for me
his interest & investment in our future
had long dissipated.
Sometimes I think
I'm my own worst enemy
cuz I set myself up for this shit
every
single
time.
March 6, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)