An Honest Ode (a tribute to my arms)

an honest ode

a right to bare arms
fat fleshy full figured arms
most girls have ample bosom
i have pillows for arms
for holding
for laying
for softness
for carrying
over
through
above and beyond
arms to love
only boxing enemies of humanity
reaching for God (within)
Big Mama arms
for correcting
for remedying
for healing
as the carrier of divine hands
luscious wings i possess
offering supple sweetness
in deep duress,
i address in my undress
a right to bare arms
plush
plentiful
plus size arms
all for a queen's touch
♥

Quietude

I find solace in solitude and silence. I have plenty of time and space to be alone. I now want to take the time and space to be silent. Purposely and purposefully silent. I want to close my mouth and mind and utter nothing. Not think or feel. Only receive the Divine Spirit and hear the bliss and blessings in my surrounding world. I am of the Great Oneness. To continue feeling of it, I must retreat from my usual participation and let it envelop me in it's fullest presence. Let it consume me the way I've consumed it. I feel I receive most in my quiet. I am most definitely in a place of needing just that. To know the way to go and be brave to go that way. Stillness, silence, solitude. They're calling my name, and it's no whisper.

Rhapsody manifests.

i’ve lived and learned through incessant spaces, places, vibes, situations, happenstances, planes of existence, states of being, walks of life, schools of thought, connections, relations, friendships, kinships and countless other intimacies. never inviting complacency at any juncture on the road. i thoroughly enjoy the unknowing in each growing pain of my journey with rawness. so far, so beautiful. so divine. so sincere. so genuine. so real. so raw. so honest. so true. so open wide. so God. so me.

i invite my fellow poets, thinkers, writers, empaths, scholars, mindscapers, body rockers, truthseekers, peacemakers, soul keepers, life enjoying spirits, and everything else above, below and in between to join me in this walk called Life. 

we are SPIRITS having a HUMAN EXPERIENCE. dive in, spirit, dive in. 

peaceloveblessings.

High as Heaven

I wanted to wake up ranting, fussing, pushing, ready to fight. Inside me, all I feel is sunshine. I feel flowers growing from my mind: lilies, orchids and daisies. An Afrikan Violet shapes my heart. I feel eternity of life circling my soul. I feel my breath reach every corner of me as the elements of Earth. I feel smiles and giggles brim my lips and peek out the corners of my eyes. My toes have music. My hands have sweet yummy affection. I feel I can move limitless. Feel a soar in my arms. Feel a hike in my feet. My heavy weighted body feels light as down feathers, as plush as 100% cotton. I only wanna sing and hip sway. :D Not just today, not only Thursday... all my days. Every day is and will be Pure Bliss. Unadulterated, undying, unyielding pleasure & joy. Selah.

I love you, dearhearts. Truly, I do. <3

ASAASE YU DURU

Homeless: The Motel Kids of Orange County

Documentarian: "What is home to you?"
Kid: Home? I don't know that place.

Documentarian: If you had one wish, what would it be?
Kid: To redo my life.

Documentarian: Are you happy?
Kid: What? It's crowded around here.

Firstly, children have feelings. Clear feelings. Aware feelings. They see what is, they see what it means, they have a perspective. They react. They contemplate. They decide. They know.

Films like this keep my integrity, honesty, truth at bay. They keep me realizing and recognizing my privilege. How I get to live. I inhabit a nation, a country and a state where children are made to suffer their parents faults & flaws.  It's deeper than unfair.

The children of this docu are from homeless families who live in the motel because they can't afford rent in Orange County. They have to be surrounded by the joys other children experience, that they don't. If they never will , I am unsure. I hope they do. They are surrounding Disneyland. One of the most magic places for kids, and they get none of it. They know hardship, pain, sorrow, being without, not having. It's more than sad.

One little boy is so angry. He talks to the documentarian, answers questions, but gets easily annoyed by her asking why, what do you think, what do you feel, etc. He's only 6. All he knows is what he hates. Another young lady, Cassidy, only 7, feels she has nothing to look forward to. Nothing to be excited about.  Her, and other kids in these stories, have Project Hope School as an avenue away from the motel for a while. Even that has its loopholes.

Every time I feel I'm having a truly hard time, I am faced with children who have no choices. Who have to live as their parents live, who are barely making it themselves. They lose their childhood and have very grownup worries. Having any semblance of childhood is worth it.  One thing every kid deserves is a childhood.

This is why I love what I do. Working closely, pointedly and pertinently with children from backgrounds in domestic abuse, poverty and homelessness. Children who live with challenges they find insurmountable and want to be free from. With us, they are for a while. They become children again. It's the very least I can do.

Yet I can do more. I am ignited and impassioned to learn what else there is and supply it. Provide it. Protect them. Hold and keep them. So they know, next to their loved ones, someone cares.

Please care.
♥

for us girls. them boys too.

state of our nation today...
young women finding
most sincerity & merit
in the easy tongue slip 
of men considering her bitch
or not considering her at all
no
impossible she is
friend
sister
homegirl
beloved
star
light
moon
divinity
goddess
empress
countess
duchess
queen
fortress of fertility
plentiful garden
how bout
Earth
his balance
the other whole
wife
lover 
sweetheart
sugar
dumpling
babygirl
unfathomable she be
precious
valued
desired
required
cherished
treasured
magnificent creation
and creator
giver of life
daughter 
sister
auntie
grandma
mama
niece
cousin
can't see herself 
truly, wholly
accepted
loved
kept
protected
elevated
exalted
eternally yours
she 
her
womb
WOMAN

recognize
represent
reflect.

intense intent

en/trance
enter
enchantment
in time with
elated enlightenment
including
ember embraces
empowering
every equal eternal entirety
enamored
entranced by your
entrance

jan.3.2013

AMUN AMEN ASE'O

The Universe complies.
Allat/Allah provides.
You were even born with God inside.

My Love, you are already profoundly blessed.
Brilliantly so.
Recognize the nature of your Divinity | the divinity of your Nature.

(message from Spirit World. Give thanks, Ancestors. ♥)

Healing empowers.

I love healing. It's this journey feeling like happenstance. As sweetly, lingeringly you ease into forgiveness, acceptance, nostalgia, master of the lesson you've just learned. It is awesome, magnificent, fortifying, supreme. I woke up today with such restored light and energy. My joy unfolds plentifully, pouring into overflow. I feel so good, and am sleepy as hell with the widest, most ecstatic smile across my face. 

LOVE YALL. 

Have Incredible Tuesdays! 

♥

Reflecting...

I attract who I am.
I attract who I am.
I attract who I am.

What's inside me finds me everywhere I go.

I am listening God. I hear you. Though divided with my resting, you have my full attention.

(Prayers said; back to bed.)

To watch pain move around you.

Ever catch the sight of pain?
How it sounds emerging from a being?

The way it rises from the belly deep
like smoke from a chimney
unfurling through their wholeness
settling in the center of their throat
the tension choking their breath
pulling in their face
settling in your eyes like nests

where it can only break in
hot tears
and cries for release
and relief.

As the voyeur, your compassion reaches for hugs and the hurt folds into it, aching to be held. I love my heart for being this to anyone. For attracting those who give it to me without question, thought, concern, or selfish contemplation on how this looks/feels/is for them. THANKFUL.

Ankh Udja Seneb. Tua Ntr. ALL PRAISES DUE!

Be Beautiful Days, my Loves.
♥

My Before-Dawn :)

The wee hours of morning are my most nakedly reflective times. I am explosively exposed with only me, the angels, my Grammy, my friend the Moon, and God. I laugh, I speak my prayers & full heart aloud in whispers. I almost shout sometimes. I cry, lament, hope and let go. The ease of sleep finds me instantly afterward. I call this time Before-Dawn. :)

SANKOFA FLIES AGAIN AND AGAIN

I've been thinking about me & my previous college life again. I am comfortable & secure to say I was wrong. I made a mistake, I took a bad turn. Made infertile choices. I failed over & over. I also acknowledge I did much right & good in between. Some grand & great achievement happened. I like saying it just this way & feeling it. It feels good. I'm not heartbroken with where I've been or where I h

aven't. Yet, I feel the deepest heartache for every person I've disappointed in all of it. I remember my whole family coming together when I was 18 & moving on to IUB for the GROUPS program. Having my back hardcore. I remember every advisor & professor who looked at me with confused wonder, of how someone they deem with much prowess & potential won't work with it. Every fellow scholar & friend who pushed for me to raise the stakes higher. I got bottomless wells of wealth from longtime experience with higher learning, but I didn't take the fullest advantage. I know -- I was where I was when I was & it was right for me then. Losing everything led to life-changing experiences. I also see the mistakes so clear. I am grateful for ALL of it. Looking back helps me better orchestrate my present plan of action. My wisdom, knowledge & understanding increases the more I fly with Sankofa. 

 

♥

The privilege of being privy...

you ever watch someone grow and become?

it's amazing.

who they once were.
who they fought to be.
who they accepted within.
where they came from.
where they've gone.
where they are.

the work seen and unseen.
the responsibility, accountability, perseverance.
the falling apart, breaking down, letting go.
the pushing forward, pulling up, keeping on.
the beginning, end and in between.
a lot of Sankofa and Kujichagulia.

it's amazing. what you're allowed to see, just watching, from their side.

Young Earth - Full(er) Moon

Yes yes people. It's true. 

I am a 33 year young woman and inside me constantly beats the heart of a 14 year young girl! All fresh and new to her love, other loves, possible loves, deep crushes, the world surrounding her, the body she's been blessed to house all her treasures, gifts, talents, power, strength and tools. 

Mildly experienced, desirous yet shy, quick to emote yet slow to manifest (take

it slooooow), easy, soft, careful, thoughtful, stubborn in who she is to a fault. Yes, she comes by it honestly, and sometimes get's exasperated by her own folds of humanity... til the divine inside shines from down deep (God's Reminder ;)). 

Innocently beguiling, self-awareness continuously anew, easily trusting because she Sees you. Third Eye never blind, though vision sometimes blurry with sensitive tears. This world can be much to take, this life can be so rough. Yet intuition is tough. Mighty is her tongue, her pen a spear to battle spheres begging her demise. She, never surprised, consistently rises to the challenges and obstacles. 

Caring for her sacredly, my only hope is she be a testament to other constantly Blooming Flowers, other incessantly Evolving Butterflies. 

Some (will) say I am slow to grow, but I see me enjoying the easy ride before it passes me by ...and Lord, having mercy on me, I be so so so thankful.

 ♥

I Used to Love H.I.M. (so hard & strong too)

Some of us expand, some of us reduce, all of us change. Growing stronger or weaker everyday. A once close friend truly disappointed me the other day, in a way I didn't see coming. I thought we might heal our broken friendship over time, but who he is is no longer good for me & where I'm going. If you're not enhancing, enriching or elevating me, or I you, preferably both.. we have nothing. What he'll advocate, how he's fallen off to a very beaten & worn path, I can't roll with. I Used to Love H.I.M. Time to let go.


I am Lotus Blossom. My petals open wider each time I liberate myself. 

Tea Transformation

Numi Tea says: "Tea is liquid meditation, reminding us to enter a time and space to find our own thoughts and visions."

Tea is truly calming. It soothes my senses and opens my chakra. I feel like a bloom tea when I enjoy a steaming cup of chai or mint. I become more still and quiet as it steeps and the scent circles my palette. Feels superb.

Now, I am a coffee chick. A true java connoisseur. I'll try any one & heavily indulge in my favorites. I smell it and feel jazz riff between my toes to the heights of my lightest thoughts. Let it be bold, rich, deep, sweet, delightful. From mild to the darkest roast, it sends me.

So I am amazing how tea becomes my most sought after libation most summer days. Hot or iced, I take in the fluid soothsayer and let it all go. Let everything flow from me and just be. How easy I breathe...

I suggest everyone try this a every other morning: Keep your house quiet. Just breathe deeply, in and out. Boil a pot of fresh cool water. Pour it over a fave tea and let it steep 5 minutes, for the fullest taste. Let it cool a bit as you add a sweetner, warm milk, whatever you like. Then sit still and enjoy. With your own company, or someone just as wonderful. :) Your day's sure to be supreme.

Take your peace for you.

formspring.me

Ask me questions about romance, courting, poetry http://www.formspring.me/cynequamarie

Growing Pains

A huge part of me being grown, a woman, human & myself is spent discovering, healing & traveling my life. I see how transition & change have become pretty difficult without my Mama & siblings nearby, having always been there. I have to rock my uprooting life without them right now, though they're always part of its beautiful blossoming. I haven't allowed myself to walk in my own greatness & powerful spirit (as a friend calls it :)), continuously forgiving myself for failing & falling down. Once, I was so lost & wandering in this world, trying to find my way. I've truly found it. I've heard my calling. My life's so purposeful. Though my greatest triumph, acknowledging & accepting it has been my greatest struggle. Still, I'm getting there. :)

Pain is a mainstay I walk/talk/breath/fight for my loving life through.

I love the beginning of Jill's song "Wanna Be Loved". I be feeling it too strong. "Don't feel no pity for me/'cause I'm going through a couple thangs/life means change/and that's just the way it goes..." For real, yo. If you gon' be sad, let's be so in our respective sorrows together. Cry. Scream. Laugh. Dance. Stomp. Throw air-punches. Be still. Sing. Be silent. Together.

I won't ever discount my Blues. They strum me something so Irie! I am overcome with omniscience. Overwhelmed with euphoric zeal. To keep on keeping on. As I learn how to navigate concrete jungles as an urban dweller riddled with a wide open heart. So succumb to my extremely delicate, tender vulnerability & sensitivity. Worldwide. Universal. I let ALL in. All the way down down down to the calloused soul of my over-wrought soles. I have battle scars on my heart. Each righteously placed by a someone I don't regret nor want to replace or forget. By a happenstance meant especially for me. Every lesson is rooted in me. I never want to lose a drop of it. Its too divine, too resplendent, too brilliant, too amazing, too awesome. Just right & absolutely perfect for me.

I won't be sad for you either. I will only walk with you. Listen to you. Share your tears. Sooth you into serenity. Its a path & journey. Let it never be discounted. Let you never miss a beat of its drum, calling a new light to rise in you.

Ase! ♥