Thursday, November 27, 2008

khepera revelation four: be happy for me because EYE love me.

in the dead of night/in the rawest emotions/in abysmal hopelessness/in the deepest confusion of who you are....REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:

I alone encompass all my happiness.
I alone am responsible for my happiness.
No one else can provide my happiness like I can.

a beautiful and sweet sister of mine gave me the most precious regards & love for this love i done mentioned a few times. and as beautiful as her sentiment, it had me thinking.

thank you for being happy for me, but be happy because I'M loving me so. because i've grown to know my plethora of wealth within. because i know i hold the keys to my very own secret garden. and knowing how sacred, divine, precious and rare it is, only i alone have the power to say who is privy to it. because i am adoring, cherishing, respecting, honoring, and keeping me.

too many of us are not in this place. i see it. hear it. feel it. because on a daily basis, whether we are aware or not, we are feeling the brunt of it. by others tongues. by others actions. by others way of living unto themselves. it is evident in just their eyes sometimes. not knowing their full worth. we must replenish in ourselves, then pass it on, darlings!

we all have something to offer. the sooner we know it, the more we'll heal, the better we'll begin to be. so be happy because i have that gift in me. because i know the stock i come from. i know the beauty i am made of. and so much so, i can tell you the beauty i see in you.

i adore a great man in my life. for different reasons, in different ways. but my life's happiness is not weighed on his shoulders. i don't see my life without him in it, though i know quite well this life can go any way. i am most truly blessed to know him and this love in the Now. i see that more now, in this moment i speak to you, than ever. its so clear.

thank you for being here for me, my wonderful friends. but remember -- whoever you are, love yourself, then we can begin to love each other.

blessings xoxo,
nequa

khepera revelation three: take no moment for granted; no love either.

so this love i'm writing about. yes, it is beautiful. and shared. and something built upon for some years now. but it is also fragile. just as vulnerable to being lost to us as our lives are to death. i am more aware of this now, having grown, matured and refined as a woman. as a lover. as a keeper of truth.

so for not one moment do i take us for granted. above all things, we are friends. he is one of my best. so i treat this with the same sanctity i treat every friendship. we are kindred. connected. and all of that must be handled with great care. we must remember, just because a great love is and we are living in it, it does not mean we can take it for granted. cannot assume it will always be there, always be what the both of us want.

so i look to treat it with the utmost respect. honor it with my presence and gratitude. to the Creator. to him. to my own heart, mind and soul knowing the gift i am blessed with and having the fortitude to treat it as such.

whatever may come, whatever may be. i know i love him so. he has my heart. and if there was ever a day he wasn't sure he wanted it, or decided he didn't . i'll fight for us....but i'd relent to his happiness, and seek to salve my own. because that is Love. that is it's richness. that is its gift. selflessness. humility. minfulness. sacrifice. giving. with all you have.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Vision (It's So Clear)


our minds awaken
our bodies rise
sun rays fell upon your face/like
wings/opening wide
to take flight
like/a new horizon set before us

this is how our days begin
how our we/began

you gently united our auras
an alignment of stars
lit a new flame
in our twin essence
sultry
seething
supreme
a sight to behold
and hold me/you did

the ease of your touch
only made my tenderness stronger
no numbness
no softness
no subtlety
only supple decadence

you read me sacred words
from your dead sea scrolls
tehuti and maat met
ausar and auset met
your sun/my moon intertwined
an infinite union
that could not be denied

we succumb
we surrender
we soothe
any invasion of our privacy away
through our minds eyes
through our language
through our third ears
listening strong
to our heartbeat
keeping time/providing a tempo
only our rhythm can dance to

we are one
nothing casual
about this luscious rendezvous

(true story)

When Spirit Breathes

wind spoke to my skin
three words traveled along my right arm
finding a nestling place in the nook
of my neck.
i felt them rest there
easy
open-ended
with as much meaning
and as little depth
as i gave them.
nothing existed between those three words
and the Spirit/ only my minds eye
and third ear/ listening to their beckoning
the wind tickling my comfort...

'i got you'

i haven't worried about me
/all day.

Coco-Mango

in the sweet midst of morning
honey dew moistens my temples
offers relaxation and serenity
an elixir for my heart's strength
as i stroll through my days

even the darkest days carry
His light

i feel the essence of this love
the blessing of this kindred
our twin souls tangle in a tango
of spirit, flesh, bone, blood
and heart
the passion pours heavy
slow
luscious
full
sweetly complete

He's my mango honey
golden brown with hints
of deep mahogany
i love the flava
i love the feel
being his yerba mate
brewing rhapsody
all over us

how hot
hot strong
how we

i'm so free/the breeze envies me...

bless.

Monday, November 24, 2008

khepera revelation two: its not that this love is here...it is here for me.

one sentiment i adored from a tyler perry film was a love, a someone, designed especially for you. to learn. to know. to cherish. to desire. to love. to build with. all that and more.

this love, this man... is here for me. he has been with me. wants to be with me. in any way i let him. in any way i am open to him. he gives me space when its necessary, but is so inherent to be readily available as the need rises.

his Way loving me is a luxury for my whole being.

and to know, The Most High has trusted me with this complete blessing....i am sometimes speechless.
i am in love with an have total faith in soulmates. :) (catch my breezy laughter in pure joy and enjoyment...)

amen-ase,
nequa

khepera revelation one: love is not missing, he's been patiently awaiting my acceptance.

if you are reading this, and have been reading me, remember all those blogs about love, finding love, having love, keeping love. wondering why i haven't found this love.

today, with you, i acknowledge it outside the personal crawlspaces of my mind.

well, this love has been. has lived. has loved me fully. he came into my life a number of years ago, and has patiently stood by me through growth, change, maturity, clarity, realization and revelation. we have become the best of friends and more. so much much more.

i would not allow this love to be, after a first go at it. i thought i could put it in a safe place to understand it before i was vulnerable to it again. time, space, distance and differences all play a part in our history. our continuously building foundation.

this is a sacred journey.

we've been walking. alone and together. ebbing and flowing through all things. standing still with us. still standing for us. this sacred journey had come full circle this past thursday. with one honest action from me. to him.

i cannot speak more on it, for it is ours at present. ours alone. to live. to cultivate. to nurture. to nourish. to cherish. to honor. to respect. to adore. to bring our whole selves to. to give space to each other in. to just be in. to learn. to grow. to mature. to refine. to become more. to be more. to have it all. to know we have it all, just being us. even more than all, just being us together.

this is our love.

one i had not realized was always with me, and only realized was so when i felt i had none. never had one. since our first moment, we have had this lasting connection. i fought with it. wanted to not have it at times. then i let it just be. left it where it is so i can go be. in my solitude. in my slow, steady, sure walk to understanding. to feeling. to accepting. to allowing him to love me. to giving him the space in me to be that man for me. the man he chooses, wishes, honors me, loves to be. i can feel that in just the way he asks... are you okay?

there have been others. i must humbly apologize for seemingly wasting your time and adoration for me. and if there ever was any, your love. because you were not it. you were cover ups, hiding places, escape hatches..and some, dead ends. whatever i could get to to get away from the life-encompassing vulnerability this love is. you were fun, you were comfortable...but he is worth more. i say this to be brutally honest.

i'll speak our story later. when it is time to tell. for now, the stillness of my heart, the calm of my soul, the serenity of my mind, the sensuality of my spirit asks me to invite you into this revelation this morning.

my darlings, i love you so. i will say forever into infinity. god blesses us all.

xoxo,
nequa